The Dalek School of Surveillance

by Arturo Magidin

Want to be feared throughout the Universe?

Want to be a successful conquering race?

Want to establish an Empire of Terror to last through the Centuries?

Well, who wouldn't!

COURSES OFFERED

We at the Dalek School of Surveillance offer a wide variety of courses for you to choose from. Among our most popular courses are:

Surveillance 101: Learn how to march in a single line while looking for escaped prisoners.

Surveillance 102: Learn how to cover the same ground as the person in front of you.

Advanced Surveillance: Learn how to ignore everything which is not directly ahead of you when looking for escaped prisoners.

Master Classes in Surveillance: Provided by your own personal Dalek, you will have 30 minutes a week of PERSONAL ATTENTION! You will learn how to extend the techniques learned in other courses at the Dalek School of Surveillance to other situations!

Learn how to:

EASY REQUIREMENTS

At other Surveillance institutions you are required to cover a lot of useless courses and do fieldwork. But at the Dalek School of Surveillance we concentrate on what is important! You need only cover 4 courses (all offered each and every semester), plus one extra-credit course (to be chosen from our wide variety which includes: Surveillance in Corridors; Surveillance in Caves; Surveillance on Earth; Surveillance aboard TARDISes; How to Climb Stairs) and you get your degree! That's right! If you apply yourself, you could, in only one year, be graduate from the Dalek School of Surveillance!

PERSONAL ATTENTION

At the Dalek School of Surveillance we believe EVERYONE can be a graduate. To guarantee you will not "slip through the cracks" you will be assigned an advanced student as soon as you arrive. It is his job to keep you under surveillance, and of course help you from time to time in what you need.

(NOTE: You can cover your extra-credit course by volunteering to be an advance-student tutor and not loosing the student assigned to you)

(NOTE: You can also cover your extra-credit course requirement by escaping from the surveillance of your tutor)

SMALL CLASSES

Each class is taught by a professional Dalek, well versed in Dalek Surveillance Techniques. The classes are small (15-20 people each), so you get that "personal feeling" everybody craves when he sees a Dalek!

AN ADMINISTRATION WHO CARES!

Our Founder and President, Davros, CARES! You WILL Graduate!* (*Note: Or be Exterminated!)

OTHER COURSES

We even offer other courses for you! Yes! You too can learn from the best:

Shouting 101: How to yell "EXTERMINATE!" and "I OBEY" in a convincing fashion.

Dalek Impersonation 101: Wouldn't you just love to be able to fool people into thinking you were a Dalek?

Think of the fun at parties!

Galactic Empires 101: Learn about some of the other failures in achieving a Galactic Empire, and our explanation of why they failed. Learn about the Cybermen and the Sontaran empires.

FORMER GRADUATES

The Dalek School of Surveillance is not one of those "Here Today Gone Tomorrow" outfits. We have years of experience, teaching our fine surveillance techniques to thousands of graduates. Here are some of our former graduates and their opinions:

"I found the surveillance courses a great boon for my work. Without them, I wouldn't know how to look for escaped prisoners" - SV7

"Grmmmphhhh! Phttttt! Grrrrr!" - Swamp People

Some of our former graduates include:

DON'T WAIT! ENROLL TODAY! CALL 1-800-YOU-OBEY for your free brochure!

(NOTE: We are currently compiling a list of former graduates. Due to unforeseen damage in our storage vaults in Skaro, some old records have been destroyed. We would appreciate information on other graduates, as well as their opinions on our courses to be included in future brochures. We would also appreciate information on the whereabouts of the culprit, or of an old blue police box. Obey, or Be Exterminated!)